Did you just see the Batmobile???
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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