Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
40s are totally the cure
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
