Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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