...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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