the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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