omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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