By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
