I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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