Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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