Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
