i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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