You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
