Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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