Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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