I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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