I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think I am morally bankrupt
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
