last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
