remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize