I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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