here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
