I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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