just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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