Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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