I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
