Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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