it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
