so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Randomize
