I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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