Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
