I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize