She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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