discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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