I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
