Im at strip club and am horny
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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