You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
