The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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