Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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