I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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