I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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