better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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