Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
