The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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