dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
