I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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