She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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