I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
