absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize