we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
