Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
