My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
