So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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