I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize