Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
