Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
