Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
