Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
