I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
