feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My ATM looks so different sober.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
