Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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