Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
