1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
