I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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