I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
