im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I understand Curling. That high.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
