google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
